That Was The Week That Was, 22 June '05"

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Why
These Weeks
Never Really Were

22 June '05

In the days since 16 April last, I haven't written very much as contributions to The Theater Mirror. This will explain:

Covered
17 may DR.MAKKER Beth Israel 6th floor
17 may RADIOLOGY Knee x-rays
18 may BLOOD TESTS, URINALYSIS & Coumadin Check B.I.
26 may BLOOD Coumadin Check B.I.
27 may PHYSICAL THERAPY B.I.
6 jun PHYSICAL THERAPY B.I.
7 jun DR. YETT Knees Evaluation ORTHOPEDICS B.I.
8 jun PHYSICAL THERAPY B.I.
14 DR MAKKER B.I. 6th Floor
14 jun BLOOD Coumadin Check
15 jun PHYSICAL THERAPY B.I.
17 jun PHYSICAL THERAPY B.I.
20 jun BLOOD TEST & Coumadin Check B.I.
28 jun ULTRASOUND Kidneys B.I. Raab

I know it's happening to people of my age, and younger, all the time these days, but the first time you hear "The C-Word" spoken seriously by a doctor, life changes --- whether its a diagnosis or merely a suspicion. It most certainly concentrates the mind! So let me explain, from my new perspective, what's been happening in my life Outside the cozy world of theater in Boston.

17 may DR.MAKKER Beth Israel 6th floor
18 may BLOOD TESTS, URINALYSIS & Coumadin Check B.I.
14 DR MAKKER B.I. 6th Floor

The doctor doesn't mind being called Vicky. She's drop-dead gorgeous and "has been married forever" and she's very quick and efficient, with only a mild tendency toward jargon of which I hope to break her before our couple of years together is over. I'd asked for an early check-up mostly because of depressions, arthritis, and lack of faith in the pain-management capabilities of something called Tramadol. She switched me to Tylenol 8-Hour, arranged a knee evaluation, suggested Zoloft --- but when I asked why I woke every morning in a lake of sweat she began spraying a big list of blood-numbers to check. Such sweats can be caused by cancer.

Okay, right here and now, let me assure everyone --- especially several close friends who, between my two talks with Vicky, blithely asked "How are you, Larry?" and got socked with my C-scare --- that there is no cancer, my "numbers" are fine, and aside from the high-blood-pressure medicine making kidney-stones a little more possible (see ULTRASOUND farther down) and my diverticules -itising, Most of Me Is Fine. And when the Prozak-rush hits, I'll maybe even begin writing more reviews. [Zoloft needs the Feds' approval before they'll pay for it. Prozak they treat like aspirin.]

Which really DOESN'T mean Everything is fine, as I shall explain.

But let's talk about Coumadin first.
26 may BLOOD Coumadin Check B.I.
There's a valve at the top of my heart that doesn't close completely, and the sludging blood can coagulate and the clots can do ugly things. "Coumadin" is actually Warfarin that keeps the blood thin --- except that, get your blood too thin and you could die of a shaving-cut, or a bleeding stomach-ulcer. So balancing clots versus cuts is a delicate business complicated by medications, by whether or not I have a salad or two after accepting a manhattan at Turtle Lane, and for all I know which way the wind's been blowing this week. The Coumadin Ladies juggle numbers between one and three and talk in grams rather than pills and half-pills, and give me the distinct impression that what they're trying is less a science than an art.
But the possible alternatives are ugly, so I try to play their game --- which requires routine visits to the Resident Vampires at B.I.

27 may PHYSICAL THERAPY B.I.
6 jun PHYSICAL THERAPY B.I.
I can't possibly say enough in praise of the "Rehab Crew" at Beth Israel. They are the most jargon-free practitioners in the building, willing to be People and cajoling others into becoming the same. Their exercize-plan had a big spot of pain just above my left hip disappearing in one week, and if I can only remember to keep up with them I may continue to avoid that "Sciatica" that I hear others my age complaining of. They are "a happy cast" who make people's world improve by what they say as much as by what they do. Bravo......

17 may RADIOLOGY Knee x-rays
7 jun DR. YETT Knees Evaluation ORTHOPEDICS B.I.
But not all things are fine in Mount Idie......
My left knee has been metal for about eleven years now --- but apparently a plastic washer of some sort has worn away and has to be replaced. And the right knee has developed bone-spurs that look in the photos a little like the flint or obsidian knives the Anisazi and Aztecs used to make. The cure for that is turning that knee into metal as well.
Apparently Orthopods are the most overworked doctors at Beth Israel, where appointments Always run as much as an hour or more behind schedule. (Bring A Book!)

But this is really the B A D news.
Come November, the Orthopods will have to chop into Both knees, and then there's a long period where the tendons they've re-strung have to be stretched back into walking-mode, which is essentially a lot of screaming in agony; if I remember correctly from my Left knee replacement, that can go on for ... Centuries!

And what that means is a lengthy divorce between me and The Mirror.

In a sense, I have structured The Theater Mirror somewhat like that art museum in Sao Paulo that looks like a pyramid balanced upside-down on its point.
And I'm that point. Take that point away for a few months, and ... Yup.
So in the next few months I'll try, as Hercules did when Atlas had him holding up the sky for a while, to edge myself out from under without letting everything go smash. We will try to get regular contributors to do their Own up-loading chores somehow, maybe with Links to "Personal Pages" or "blogs" or whatever they might be called these days. I hope everything is in place and running smoothly by November.

Why November? I hear you saying...

Well, the surgeries aren't Compellingly Necessary right now, and in mid-November the New England Theatre Conference would like to give The Theater Mirror an award for services rendered. I'd like to work on making The Mirror continue to function without me, and then enjoy my fifteen-minutes of Fame before going "under the knife" (Or, actually, under the orthopods' surgical Black&Decker Skill-saws!).

Watch This Space!!!

Love,
===Anon.

UNcovered:
16 may [ KONG'S NIGHT OUT Reading LYRIC STAGE COMPANY OF BOSTON INC]
19 may DRAGONFLY FESTIVAL III Devanaughn Theatre 55
20 may FORGET HEROSTRATUS The Theatre Cooperative 56
21 may TOOTH AND CLAW Zeitgeist Stage Company BCA 57
VII
22 may THE BOSTON Theater MARATHON VII @ THE BCA 58
25 may JULIUS CAESAR Actors' Shakespeare Project CAMBRIDGE YMCA 59
26 may TAKE ME OUT Boston Theatreworks/Speakeasy/Broadway in Boston 60
28 may SHAKESPEARE IN HOLLYWOOD Lyric Stage Company of Boston INC. 62
=====JUNE=====
2 jun SHOUTING THEATRE IN A CROWDED FIRE Wes Savick B.P.T. 63
3 jun A CHORUS LINE Encore Theater Company UMASSBoston 64
4 jun GOOD NIGHT DESDEMONA, GOOD MORNING JULIET The Footlight Club 65
6 jun [ STAGEsource BASH ]
9 jun 33RD PLAYWRIGHTS' PLATFORM FESTIVAL #I Boston Playw. Th 66
10 jun A RUN IN THE PARK 11:11 Productions ACTORS' WORKSHOP 67
12 jun BARRYMORE Faskarsnopera DEVANAUGHN THEATRE 68
16 jun 33RD PLAYWRIGHTS' PLATFORM FESTIVAL #B Boston Playw. Th 69


THE THEATER MIRROR, New England's LIVE Theater Guide

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